Pisces (20 FEB-20 MAR)
Mars, the planet of tangled wiring, meets Pluto the planet of multi-speaker home cinema system installation and badly translated Japanese instruction manuals. You are fucked.
Aries (21 MAR-19 APR)
Chaaaaaaaaaarge!
Taurus (April 20-May 20)
Mercury, Mars and Jupiter let you see ahead with clarity, but Saturn is standing right in front of you wearing a great big Afro wig.
Gemini (21 MAY-20 JUN)
Don't be tempted to take a gamble with joint finances. Always make sure you have something left over at the end of the week for drugs.
Cancer (21 JUN-22 JUL)
Might be an idea to laminate that Dear John letter before your pathetic tears of sorrow reduce it to a papier mache of grief.
Leo (23 JUL-22 AUG)
Choccy biccy?
Virgo (23 AUG-22 SEP)
The emergence of Pisces may explain the terrible smell of fish you notice every time you enter a room. Or it may not.
Libra (23 SEP-23 OCT)
The Sun arrives in your sign this week recharging not only your batteries, but thanks to your portable solar planel, the ones in your vibrating egg.
Scorpio (24 OCT-21 NOV)
Versatility, quick-thinking and determination are commendable qualities. Why not, for once in your sorry life, just fucking try them?
Sagittarius (22 NOV-21 DEC)
Mercury has moved back in with Aquarius, but he still can't stop himself from sleeping with Uranus. Tee hee.
Capricorn (22 DEC-19 JAN)
Not indicating at a roundabout does not make you a bad person. No, scratch that, you're Hitler.
Aquarius (20 JAN-19 FEB)
Is there any chance you could stop touching yourself for five minutes? Thanks!
Your horoscopes for this week!
Moderators: jifflemon, coyote1980, Rachel
Your horoscopes for this week!
Volvo 480 Celebration 466 Dark Grey Metallic (PUS)
previously
Volvo 480 2 ltr Paris Blue
Volvo 480 2 ltr Peacock Green
Volvo 480 1.7 White
Volvo 760 GLE Saloon 2.8 V6 Blue
previously
Volvo 480 2 ltr Paris Blue
Volvo 480 2 ltr Peacock Green
Volvo 480 1.7 White
Volvo 760 GLE Saloon 2.8 V6 Blue
- glasgowjim
- 480 Is my middle name
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